Tag: Bachelorhood

The perfect husband…bad boyfriend?

It’s on Sundays like yesterday that I’m idle, usually without any plans. The only thing that’s always constant is waking up at around 8, prepare for church service which by around 11 is over, unless there is a sadaka ya pili and a lengthy announcement. From there, I head back to the cubicle I proudly call my nest and do just about anything that can be done. My favorite activity is streaming a series and checking my social media accounts, thanks to a generous neighbor who gave me their wifi password. It’s only on this day and maybe Saturdays that I can go through all the newsfeeds in Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, normally after writing an article or two.

So yesterday, I’m on Facebook, seeing all the rants, pro’s and con’s of father’s day which I’ve never observed. Maybe my adoring daughter in 10years to come will give me a reason to value it. I come across this post by Agin Elvis, a former classmate back in highschool. “They told me that to make her fall in love I had to make her laugh, buh every time she laughs am the one who falls in lov…” went the post, accompanied by his picture. If I were to mark it, already 7points would have been deducted. How comes you are telling us about her but go ahead to post your ugly face which I had to bear with for 3 long years instead of the beautiful unsub (unknown subject –to those not familiar with criminal minds terms) whom I can be as sure as my bankruptcy is, is very alluring. Agin’s eyesight may be defective when looking at books, but when angles change and they start to scan the figures in skirts, be sure they will only settle on the preprossessing ones.

Agin’s ugly face aside, I want to be sentimental on something very critical than the Qatar embargo. You see, this post made me think about my love life, which as far as my ancestors are concerned is very bad. If my grandpa was alive, I’m sure he would have given me some heads of cattle to take to a tyrant dad somewhere within or beyond the borders as a token of appreciation for her daughter. As for him, this would be the best time to start a family. But now even if given the cows, where will I take them, a slaughter house? I analyze the post again, and the baseline, ‘make her laugh‘. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing all along when going after potentials, but they all don’t always feel the vibe. Maybe they have been laughing at me all this time and not my jokes. Maybe

I’ve been unwillingly single for long that I’ve been questioning if it’s because of my genes. Maybe I have a face that only my mother would love, but across the border, Besigye, whose face portrait I want to use to make scarecrows, has a beautiful career wife. We all have our own defects, but which is it in me that no girl can tolerate? I know my fashion sense is worse than MCA Tricky’s when on official duty on Churchill live but you can still take me into your feathers and morph me into a Nick Mutuma in 2weeks. People do change, as long as the necessary effect is felt. A little input here and there and every photograph I take will be worth putting in Instagram.

Or is it my character? If told to describe it, I can’t do it properly. This has to be done by a person observing you. Son of man can’t observe himself, so to those who think they know me well, hit my inbox with my profile assessment. 

And there was this time a friend to a friend whom I may or may not have been chasing, or still chasing, told me I would make a good husband, but not an ideal boyfriend. Like seriously? This was one of the most confusing statement to ever get into my ear drums, after those by my mum saying “…just break them, I’ll buy others…” after a glass slips and breaks. Miss, we aren’t living in the 20th century when an unknown spouse was brought to you by an aunt whom you just had to marry and cope with after skipping an essential stage like courting. Nowadays, you get a boyfriend or girlfriend depending on your gender, age, preferences and sexuality, court, and when you feel he or she is the one, pop the magic question,”..will you marry me?..” That’s the process of one being a husband. So don’t say I’ll make a good husband if I can’t be the boyfriend. The two can’t be totally separated. And a piece of advice to all the singles who turn everybody down in pursuit for the perfect ready made, know that you have to kiss a few frogs before meeting your Prince Charming. 

Nimeenda hivi Tujuane Auditions. Let’s meet at Big Brother Africa’s club house if you got insulted.